What’s scary?

What is scary and daunting is that you’re expected to sit in an examination hall (classroom) for three agonizing hours straight, painfully dissecting your brain to churn out 6 ridiculous 25 marks essays in relation to English Literature classics like Hamlet and Thomas Hardy and 5 insanely long essays in relation to Economics. And that’s just the beginning. The worse part is to have to do it for three consecutive days, straight. The mere thought of sitting for papers I barely studied for is horrifying enough but to actually sit there for hours on end, in full awareness of the rest of the world goes by – now that’s something you can brag about. No?

Maybe for an unlikely student like me.

But the thing is, I’ve just only begun to see the contrasting difference now that I’m in Form 6, compared to the days of yore. In examination terms, question papers get incredibly shorter and brief, with only a few words put in questioning in return of a 25 marks essays. As the question papers get shorter, the answer sheets expected are even longer, easily exceeding 10 pages of written facts or nonsense at any one time. Education gets tougher and the only way to excel is from old fashioned studying – something which I’m still struggling to find time to do. Half a year has passed and I’m still procrastinating on my studies. What’s really scary is that I’m lazying around.

Oh, and the bruises caused from a prolonged pressure from using a pen is also nasty on the finger.

What is scary, apart from that, is when your phone bills keep on escalating, each month to a more worrying amount. I used to use not even RM30 of my monthly credits, usually spending an amount of about RM24 each month. But for the past two months, I’ve received bills amounting at RM41 and last month a staggering RM57. Honestly, I don’t believe that I’m capable of spending that load of an amount on phone bills alone a month, thus the constant refusal to pay them, insisting that there has been a mistake with the telco to be held responsible. Somewhere along that line, I was secretly hoping for a mistake which the telco company would offer a lifetime of free credit as an apology.

Very girl-in-the-green-scarf, I know.

Finally, after 2 weeks of procrastination and desperate scavenging for data and proof, not to mention the different telco outlets I went to, to prove myself right, I slowly came to accept that I am a big spender when it comes to mobile phones as well. After numerous hours of deciphering the digits out the itemised bills, I also came to realise that I’ve spent a majority of it on texts alone. Gee, what have I turned into? A delayed case of teenager-can’t-live-without-a-mobile-phone perhaps? As much as it worries my family, I’m utterly disturbed as well, with my new unlikely habits of texting. Which is why, I’ve put myself into restriction this month, monitoring my phone expenditures by the minute by checking the telco system almost by the second. Currently, there are still 5 days left till my bill gets summed up and I’m left with less than 2 bucks to spend before I burst through the monthly quota again.

Dangerous.

Ayumi Hamasaki - Green Lyrics

hikari kagayaite rin to shita kigitachi ga
mi wo kakusu you ni iro wo keshite yuku
kibou he tsunagaru nanimokamo o toozake te
nukumori wo kowagaru watashi no you ni
ano hito no egao ga mou
mabushikute yasashii sugite
yowasa misete shimaisou de
nakidashite shimaisou de

fureta yubi no saki kara
omoi ga afuredashisou ni
natta ano shunkan kara
kono koi ni kizukimashita

doushite hito wa kokoro no mama ni shitagai
aruite yuku no ga muzukashii no darou
hontou wa kitto zutto
wakatteta hazu nara no ni ne
genjitsu ni me wo somuketeta
shinjitsu wo hitei shiteta

mitsumeru sono saki ni wa
itoshiki ano hito no sugata
kaze ga kawaru koro ni wa
kono omoi tsutaeyou ka

fureta yubi no saki kara
omoi ga afuredashisou ni
natta ano shunkan kara
kono koi ni kizukimashita

mitsumeru sono saki ni wa
itoshiki ano hito no sugata
kaze ga kawaru koro ni wa
kono omoi tsutaeyou ka

futatabi mebuita kigitachi ga iro tsuitara
ima yori sunaona egao mietai

***

Now I know I haven’t been really updated with my music lately, let alone blogging and I know I’m not such an avid fan of the Asian entertainment scene, minus a few exceptions – think Lee Hom - and the occasional sex scandals – think Edison Chen – which will do so much as to only entice my insipid interest. But I’ve recently gotten hooked to Ayumi Hamasaki’s Green after having stumbled upon her music video on MTV a couple of times resulting in me having it played on loop now.

I think the song is great - the melody, vocals and instruments are all alright. The video in particular is also strikingly Asian, which surprisingly was the first thing that got me watching the video. Ayumi Hamsaki herself isn’t looking all that bad with her green outfit and hairdo (and the purse!). And that woman can really work the drama in the video, what with all her exquisite hand gestures and dramatic facial expressions. However, I don’t quite get the storyline of the video, especially with the same sex dance numbers. Not quite sure what she’s trying to insinuate.

Of course, I can barely understand Japanese, even with the translation of the lyrics, I’m still lost. But that’s the fun thing about Japanese songs, you see. Their lyrics are still readable and the least, sing-able. Mind you, this isn’t the first time I’ve gotten hooked to Ayumi Hamasaki’s work. I' was previously aware of her existence and her work, despite of me always holding a prejudiced take on wide-eyed artists with Horror-juku dressing and bimbotic poses in their pictures. I’m not much of a follower, but I do like Ayumi Hamasaki. Suffice to say, the only reason I embedded her video here is for easy reference as I can’t find it on YouTube easily.

***

GREEN TRANSLATION
The brilliant trees standing in the cool air
Are losing the colors as if hiding themselves
Just like me who is afraid of the warmth
Keeping myself away from anything leading to hope

The smiling face of that person
Looks dazzling and so tender
I’m afraid I might show my weakness
And start crying

* I noticed this love
The moment my fingertip touched his
And my feelings were
About to flow out

I wonder why it’s difficult for us
To walk as we wish

Actually I’ve always
Realized for sure
But I turned my eyes from the reality
And denied the truth

** I’m staring at my dear person
I might tell him
Of this feeling
Around the time the wind changes

* (repeat)
** (repeat)

Labels: entertainment

So, as it appears, the highlight of my April would be me getting a new phone from the parents – without even requesting. Well, for the past few months, I’ve been regularly changing my phone, given that I got the previous one as a hand-me-down from jie. Who would ever thought, the more tech-savvy one in the family would survive with a basic phone for quite sometime now only to get a hand-me-down. Of course, I wasn’t complaining, except for the few glitches of the previous phone which needed immediate repairing. Other than that, I’m pretty much pleased to be using a flip-phone.

Which is why I have no idea why mom and dad would go get me a new phone besides having too much love on me (and a little bit of pity, I’m sure). Of course, it is neither my dream phone – not that I have any nowadays what with the rapid evolution of mobile phones – nor is it a latest edition for that matter. But, surprisingly to myself even, instead of acting out like a spoilt brat, throwing unnecessary tantrums, I am more overwhelmed by their gesture than to bother about the specifications of the phone. Honestly, I feel a little unworthy to be accepting such a gift.

No matter, I am pleased with the cell and have taken less time than I thought I would to fall in love with it. Really, I have no complains except for the part that I’m still struggling to get used to using a Sony Ericsson interface after having used Nokia’s one for such a long time. I even have difficulty typing a text, often going for the 0 button to space my words instead of the # key. Seriously, why’d they have to make it so different? Other than that, the phone’s exceptionally fine – the functions, the specifications, the design and the interface. Really no complains. It’s one hell of a jump from my previous phone that’s for sure.

As it is promoted 3 years back when the phone was released, it truly lives up to its expectations. The phone puts the ‘R’ into RegulaR which makes it mediocrity all the more sexy and appealing to me. LOL. Am I making a good job selling my product? Anyway, I’m not sure if I think the phone is sexy just because it comes in my favorite color – orange. Also, the phone is unique because as I know, it only comes in 2 different colours which are black and red. How in the world my parents got a white with gold touches one, I don’t know but I’m lovin’ it! Definitely sets me apart from the rest, no? (Allow me my self-indulgence this once.) The candybar style and the colour combination makes it looks all the more edgy - a phone for the style-conscious.

Only thing I’ve got to say is that the keypad is a tad bit small for my stubby little fingers, resulting in me constantly pressing the wrong buttons, causing more complications during texting. The entire size of the phone is unusually thin (for me) and I still need some getting used to as I constantly fear the phone will slip off my hands in my clumsy attempt of texting. The 2megapixels camera bundled together with the phone is also commendable to a certain extent considering it is after all a WalkMan phone. I’ve also grown used to the user-friendly interface of Sony Ericsson phones and it’s screen, providing a crystal clear images for the eyes.

Certainly came a long way, haven’t I? Thanks mom and dad. Oh, by the way, all the phones are still in working condition and are still under my keep. =)

Labels: life, rants

So the other day, I went for confessions at church, as I always do before Easters and Christmases. The one thing that the father told me when I was done with my confessing was that I had a huge “catalogue” (of sins) which is only natural for someone like me. But that’s not the point. In relation to that, the other thing that the father mentioned was that I had a good amount of self-awareness in my head. Meaning, I am self-conscious about my sins and what not – which I took as a compliment at first but had trouble grappling with it later on in the car.

See, I do sin a lot (if not more than the average man) and most of the time, I realize that I’ve done wrong only after doing them. In other words, I guess I can say I don’t think before I do something, which doesn’t help me avoiding from doing bad things. So I wonder, do having having an awareness after that and telling myself that I’ve done wrong help in anyway? I do give out a little pray of pardon whenever this occurs. Does it make my sins any less heavy if I were to detect them primarily after doing them? Does it make me less of a sinner when I practice conscience in my actions?

Gee. I really don’t know, but I sure do hope so.

Same goes to the matter of greed, or rather, gluttony to be more specific. I am a self-proclaimed glutton after all. In my understanding, a glutton is usually referred to someone who gorges himself with an overwhelming amount of food out of the sheer want of achieving that satisfaction during eating, regardless of whether he is hungry or not. And most of the time, the food involved are more or less rare to come by. I am guilty of the above at times. I mean, c’mon, the word glutton can almost be spelled as obese nowadays, dontcha think?

But, can someone still be called a glutton if his ravaging are for the things that are rather unlikely for a glutton to ravage on? For instance, tofu products and greens and beans? I’ve always had a high regard for tofu products even before I began eating greens and beans and have only realized how different the westerners have their view on this. Which makes me wonder, is it a crime to be greedy on peasant food like tofu? Food that is clearly frowned upon (let alone) stereotyped by people. To be frank, I really do love tofu and its products and will not hesitate on finishing them if ever the chance occurs. Now, does that make me a greedy person (glutton) or can I be considered humble?

For the record, I’ve never found any connections with abalones or any other similar food that are considered rich-people-food from where I come from.

Labels: rants

Sometimes, for such a prestigious company who churns out omg-oh-so-good-looking products all the time, it’s amazing how Apple can seriously conjure a good level of hostility towards its own brand name. Coming up with new products is one thing, probably agreeable by nature but to keep using the old products and keep improving on them, now that’s something which just makes me feel brings out the envy and dissatisfaction in me.

I mean, c’mon!

Not only did they find the dire need to improve their range of laptops, resulting in one of the most slimmest laptops in the world ever made that I’ve come to know, they also took into much consideration and detailing into improving their range of iPods, now creating a tinier, slimmer and more attractive iPods. And in their process of constant improvement, they just had to rub it in everyone’s face with their ultra-sleek, edgy, minimalistic, clean, clear-cut and oh-so-glossy-and-shiny design, deliberately splashing it and applying them onto all their products.

Oh, did I mention, Apple also manages to bring the price down with every new and improved release of its older products. Ask KennySia! Though, all their prices still remains unaffordable to me. But at this rate their going, I wouldn’t be surprised if they started giving away free iPods or MacBook Airs by the year 2010.

You know, I’ve always admired and drooled over Apple’s simplistic approach to everything and yet managing to keep them equally as sophisticated but this might just have pushed the envelope. What I’m trying to say is, do they really need to go “improving” mode on the iPod shuffle?

The iPod Shuffle, probably one of the most affordable products to mere mortals like me, Apple has ever launched, has now turned smaller and sleeker and also now comes with a bigger capacity (4GB) and comes with a renewed price no doubt. Not only that, Apple is introducing a new innovation packaged with the iPod Shuffle as well, the VoiceOver where a voice speaks out the details of a song. Plus, the new buttons attached to the earphones are so much more convenient.

Damn, listen to me. I’m helplessly falling for one of Apple’s gimmicks again! Oh Apple, why did you have to take your own products and make it better? Now it only makes my 1GB old iPod Shuffle looks bad. Not to mention the wear and tear effect I’ve made on it over the years. I want the oh-so-shiny new iPod Shuffle! It’s inevitable, Apple can really score with their marketing gimmick and I am one falling for it, no matter how much I tell myself that I don’t need it or how much I try to make myself hate it.

Labels: rants